"exclusive rights"

to everything but merchandise.

in other words... i'm taken again.

and i'm happy.... even if he is a villan.

I hate the way . . .

I hate the way I cry when you say you miss me
But I love the way you hold me when I sleep
I hate the way I bleed each time you kiss me
But you say 'hey sleeping beauty go back to sleep'

We had pennies in our pockets
We had hope in our eyes
He said 'girl you got a million different faces
So why'd you put on that disguise'
Well take what you want cos I've got nothing
Pass me some pills and I'll go to bed
But, however much I toss and turn I feel a dark place up ahead

Some nights I just sit back and I remember, I just remember
Before it all got lost up in the mess
He said 'not all men are bad and I'm not like your dad
And I will hold you even though you're slightly mad
Cos I am not a man who will ever break you'

We had pennies in our pockets
We had hope in our eyes
He said 'girl you got a million different faces
So why'd you put on that disguise'
Well you can take what you want cos I have got nothing
Pass me some pills and I'll go to bed
But however much I toss and turn I feel a dark place up ahead

Do do do do do do do doo
My doctor said I got to sing a happy tune
Do do do do do do do doo
I didn't do what my body gave up to soon
Do do do do do do do doo
You know what, I am just fine till I'm on my own
Do do do do do do do doo
And didn't do do do
Somebody please call home

I hate they way I tremble when you touch me
You're like a needle slowly piercing my skin
I hate the way my stomach aches
And I really hate these loveless mistakes
Cos I'm screaming for my rock who
Never picks up, why do you never pick up?

We had pennies in our pockets
We had hope in our eyes
He said 'girl you got a million different faces
So why'd you put on that disguise'
Well ou can take what you want cos I have got nothing
Pass me some pills and I'll go to bed
But however much I toss and turn I feel a dark place up ahead

Do do do do do do do do
My doctor said I've got to sing a happy tune

Blind . . .

so thats what happens...
all hell breaks loose.
but if thats hell....
well
i like it.

fantastic fun, this game.

Save the drama....

Not for my mama!

UGH, so apparently the drama never ends, and rather than being supportive certain members of my mothers family, dislike my modelling. So after a lengthy conversation, and e-mails of photos to my father (who thought they were beautiful, and tasteful) hopefully they can give these answers to those who are "offended"
However, I feel I am a grown woman, and that these conversations should never have occured, as I feel I have the right to be able to do whatever I'd like.
So now I've eaten a big bag of jalepeno cheddar chips, and am going to have a drink and go to bed, and while the chips didn't make me feel better, they made my mouth burn, and thats good enough for me right now.

what would happen....

Electricity, eye to eye
Hey don't I know you
I can't speak

Stripped my senses
On the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word

Chorus:
What would happen if we kissed
Would your tongue slip past my lips
Would you run away, would you stay
Or would I melt into you
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust

The room is spinning out of control
Act like you didn't notice
Brushed my hand

Forbidden fruit
Ring on my finger
You're such a moral, moral man
You throw it away, no question
Will I pretend I'm innocent

Chorus

I struggle with myself again
Quickly the walls are crumbling
Don't know if I can turn away


I guess I'm left wondering, unless of course, you snap, or i snap, or we both just stop playing....
but I must say this cat and mouse we are in right now IS fun... and you made me blush.

singing in the rain . . .

its quarter to 3, i can't seem to sleep, the double shot of espresso at 9 pm is most likely the cause, however last week was a good week.
I was re-reading this, and i find it funny, how i said I was happy with mr, uncool ... looking back, i think i just tried to convince myself, and perhaps prove to people i could be in a relationship..
oh well.
i AM happy right now.
I had a very good week.
I miss my friends, miss b is away, nic is off on a peruvan adventure, and i'm stuck here, bored, but making a good new friend.
was "adopted" this past week, by a young new friend and loved every minute of it, from cherries in the park, to a check up, to breakfast,a random "jam session" and a late night horror movie complete with fundip and tickles. upon thinking after... its almost surreal, so I won't. but it was great.

had a fantastic skype date with a dear sweet friend, i worry about her, shes sick, and has goon to hawaii to recover. I wish. I feel like i need to travel soon.

maybe with magic...... that would be AWESOME....
which means i should get on dance class, burlesque burn starts this week, hopefully that will help with my "on stage grace"
was finally put in an illusion this week, kub zag... i was awkward, but with practise it will get better.
and i can't wait!

and to think

a year ago today . . .
CRAZY...

and to think

a year ago today . . .
CRAZY...

Doritos - Tastes Like A Winner

Doritos - Tastes Like A Winner

so . . .

the class was great... learned some things... stuck with new musical songs in my head. find myself singing..
but not yet re-inspired.

taking more time to myself lately, which is making me happier.. even if the boy doesn't seem to like it.

show tonight though, fingers crossed.

having a . . .

semi-productive day...
going to watch a singing class tonight to hopefully get re-inspired...

strange

so, i have a boyfriend...
its valentines day...
but it doesn't really feel any different. . . although now my pet count has gone up, and no they didn't have babies . . .i have two tiny hermit crabs.


i still don't think i like this holiday.

in response to a list . . . .

so my friend miss b, decides to call me girlie, which is fine, since well... i should face it, i kinda am.

however...lady, you are never too old to "makeout" for 3 hours in any given night.


sidenote: i hate waking up at 5 am 2 nights in a row for no reason. although company helps.
as the girls know, i was "ted mosby'd" and i'm still ok with it....
i'm happy, and thats what matters most right now

so . . .

I finally get to volunteer....

and what do I get told right after the show????
how perfect I would have been for one of the roles.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?

sadness...

it will always upset me when someone so good gets taken from this earth too soon...
it breaks my heart.
she was so good.
so wonderful.
and now its all over so quickly, so unexpected, too soon...
I'm sorry dear friend, I will miss you, and already do.